Messages from the US Embassy in Honduras

Today my e-mail inbox included 2 messages from the US Embassy in Honduras. One related to flash flood alert from Hurricane Ida for the east coast of Honduras. The second message warned visitors about 2 explosions that happened in the capital city of Tegucigalpa. It appears that the explosions were in public locations without any fatalities. The political situation appears to be escalating...

At this point, we plan to go unless the international airports are closed. Please pray with us for the continuing challenges in Honduras.

On My Heart...

November is Adoption Awareness Month :). This Sunday, November 8th is Orphan Sunday; so named as a nationwide effort for churches to defend the cause of the fatherless. Our church, Pin Oaks Christian Fellowship is participating. Yippeeee... Steven Curtis Chapman is a part of a webcast that will air on Sunday afternoon, too. I encourage you to jump on over to the Orphan Sunday website and check out the great resources and beautiful children.

I'd like to tell you about one very special family that our church will be praying for on Sunday ... a family adopting a precious baby boy from Ethiopia. I have much to say about Whitney and Aaron!

Whitney and I shared our hearts every Tuesday last year as she came to our house to corral the little guys while I taught the older two. It was truly God at work. Our time together allowed me to express some things about our foster experience that I had not verbalized well to anyone. It also allowed me the privilege to walk from beginning to almost end of God's call to bring an orphaned child home from the beautiful country of Ethiopia. Our time knit me and Whitney together in this thing called orphan care. I'm better because of it.

I tell you all of this for two reasons. First, if you want to read the words of a beautiful writer, please read her blog Our Hearts Are In Ethiopia. Second, she makes these really special t-shirts and onesies like the one I'm wearing below! There is a little bling over Ethiopia. All proceeds from her creativity go toward their adoption.


Please pass Whitney's information on to any of your friends who love Africa, love babies or love adoption. You just gotta jump over and see those adorable onesies on her sidebar!!

Oh... and just so you know, I'll be wearing my special Africa t-shirt while loving on little ones in Honduras!! I'm just so global :).

One child at a time,

Counting Shoes... and Blessings!

Our house was hit hard this week with the lovely H1N1. Not fun. And yet, it appears that God knew we all needed a bit of a break.

Today, we all felt well enough to inventory the shoes, undies, etc. that we've received so far for our trip. We have almost 100 pairs of shoes so far! Our kids are so excited. We are imagining all of the little feet that will get to wear these.

I love that God has called our entire family to this task... not just Alex and me. Our eldest 2 have ideas of very special ministries that they want to begin in the Spring; can't wait to share these :).

God is very, very good. And, thankfully, He knew that our little ones could better handle the H1N1 with Daddy and Mommy at home.

Hoping your day is beautiful!

Hands, Hearts & Hope in Honduras

The time is rapidly approaching for us to head South... well, technically South-east, I suppose. I can honestly say that we are excited beyond belief. There is anxiety about leaving our children. We have not left our kids like this since our eldest was 1 year old. It is a bizarre feeling to plan school days that someone else will implement and to write medical consent forms for someone else to utilize. I don't like it one bit. And yet, we must make this first trip alone.

We will fly into San Pedro Sula and spend the night in an orphanage that we hope to work with in the future. We will then take an early bus ride to La Ceiba on the northern coast of Honduras. We will visit an orphanage in La Ceiba and take shoes and undergarments, for which there is a dire need. A few days later, we will catch a very small plane to fly to the Puerto Lempira on the Mosquito Coast. This area is accessible by small plane or shallow-bottomed boat. It is called Mosquito coast or La Miskitia because of the Miskito Indians that live in this area.

There are 3 orphanages in this very rural, jungle area that we will visit. One home is Mama Tara's, which I wrote about here. Another home is a fully-functioning orphanage and home for malnourished babies - House of Hope. This orphanage is completely U.S. funded - started by a dentist here in the states. House of Hope is a success story and a model of sorts. The third home does not have indoor plumbing. There is a hole outside used as a toilet. This home also does not have mattresses. We are blessed to be able to measure for mattresses and arrange delivery. :) And I have no doubt that one of our first projects when we get there full-time will be to get this home at least a functional bathroom.

We will return to La Ceiba and San Pedro Sula and visit the Pan American Malnourished Children home. We will stay in other orphanages for the remainder of our visit. We plan to take as much as we can with us. I bought the smallest of suitcases for my personal stuff so that I can stuff as much as possible into our other bags. One friend even suggested I wear several undergarments and t-shirts layered on the plane to avert the need to pack. That is a great idea!!

If you are interested in what we are gathering to pack our suitcases and duffel bags, you can read at our church website - Mission Effort for Honduras.

Most of all, we ask for your prayer coverage. Our children at home will be well taken care of; however, their week will be a challenge. Please pray for them. The children we will visit live in some of the most impoverished situations I've ever heard about but have hearts ready to hear the good news of a Savior who loves them. Please pray for them. Honduras is in political turmoil with the US meddling where it doesn't belong. Please pray for the country.

And above all else, may God be glorified in anything we attempt to do and every word we say! It is all for You... our Audience of One.

It's a Girl!

It started out as a harmless trip to our local trade days. We were just going to check out 'white puppies' for Little Mommy's Christmas present. Instead, we came home with this beauty... a miniature schnauzer named Becca. And to top it off, my Mom & Dad brought home her twin! What fun... the numbers are approaching equal in the boy vs. girl category at our place!

Savoring

There are just some things in life to savor; to taste and see, ponder and mull. Our preparation for a life overhaul has proven to be just that to me... something to savor. We are counting the days until our trip to Honduras. Friends are contributing shoes, clothes, sports equipment, etc. for us to cram into duffel bags and share.

In the midst of preparations for this experience, my mind is continually aware of the juxtaposition of poverty to our American blessings. I am overwhelmed by Americans who so desperately want to help provide the basics of life to people they've never seen. I am thankful for a God who allows us to join what He is already doing. I am thankful for just two hands that can help... just two hands.

Tasting, seeing, pondering and truly mulling over the purpose of these earth-bound days.

Emotion Stew

My ears hear the tinkling of Christmas tunes in the other room as Little Mommy delightfully kicks of the holiday season early.

My nose reminisces on my childhood with the scent of a burning fire in our fireplace.

My heart feels heavy for my sweet baby sister who starts chemo on Monday.

My eyes truly embrace the gift of a clean house thanks to my precious husband and children.

My head reels with excitement as we make reservations for our mission exploration trip to Honduras.

My hands ache to hold malnourished babies, sign with deaf children and love on Honduran wee ones.

My soul thanks my God for a full life; not easy, but complete.

Attachment in Adoption

For so long, I've hesitated to speak on this topic. It is so personal to our adoption story and so real that I just felt it was our story. However, after watching the video of the woman who adopted Baby D and, due to failure to bond, gave him up, I've been convicted to put some of our story on paper. Maybe our experience will provide hope??

Little Boy Blue came to our home on a bright summer day in 2007. We were still fairly green in our fostering experiences and very emotionally raw from the departure of Baby Girl, our first foster baby. God had gently healed our hearts a bit through several respite placements. He continued to remind us of His desire for our family to expand through adoption.

I remember sitting at my desk when I got the call about Little Boy Blue. I tried to write down every detail for Alex as I listened to the caseworker describe a situation that to me sounded more like reunification with a birth family rather than adoption. Alex and I decided to accept his placement, regardless of the clear ups and downs that would come. But still, somewhere deep within me I wondered whether I could love him like I loved Baby Girl. God was faithful! He planted love in me for Little Boy Blue almost immediately.

Little Boy Blue had a rough start. We later found out that he had been in 5 placements prior to finding his way to our home! 5 placements in 3 months of life! Additionally, he had visitation with his biological mother's family and later with his biological mother. He also was very rigid due to foreign substances that were working their way out of his little body.

Little Boy Blue snuggled on his own terms, which was very different than anything we had ever experienced. He just didn't want to be stomach-down at all. If he cuddled, he wanted to be in the crook of an arm. One of his foster experiences included swaddling, which we continued. We later found out that swaddling in his case was not a good idea.

Meanwhile, we had received training on Reactive Attachment Disorder during our training as foster parents. 'RAD' as it is known, is common among children in foster care. It its most basic form, RAD is a protective mechanism that keeps children from bonding with anyone. Devastating, broken past relationships and the pain of such things become too much to bear and basically, the children shut down in the relationship area treating all people equally.

As a child gets older, RAD is harder and harder to reverse. So, in little ones, it is imperative to recognize an attachment issue and work to get it resolved, even if the resolution doesn't come for years.

We did not recognize the early signs. We were busy welcoming Prince Caspian into our forever family and becoming full-time homeschoolers. It was during an Early Childhood Intervention screening for something totally different that the social worker saw attachment problems. We were shocked and somewhat nervous about the therapy we would begin. Our prayers were huge and frequent for Little Boy Blue, and still are. We have God's hope for this child, as we did from the very beginning, even when we didn't know what to try next.

Our county happened to have an LPC on staff with ECI. We were fortunate to have him in our home for therapy with our entire family. It was quickly identified that Little Boy Blue had an indiscriminate comfort with all people. You might think that attachment issues mean that there is an aloofness to all people. Not so. Attachment challenges mean you don't form a proper bond with a 'maternal or paternal figure' so you feel free to have a shallow relationship with anyone as long as your needs/wants are being fulfilled. Can you see the obvious danger with this in a teenager or adult? Additionally, because of lack of genuine bonding, empathy does not properly develop. For that matter, the conscience somewhat shuts off, too.

Our LPC videotaped Little Boy Blue on a regular basis and we worked long and hard on encouraging him to show excitement, respond to overtures from us, play appropriately and ultimately, to love the family that God gave him. It was not easy. First we had to find a 'connection.' For him, music has always been something special. The boy has rhythm and an ear for all types of music. So, to reach him on his terms we tried this... when he would get upset, instead of trying to comfort him 'my way', I'd sing to him and allow him to be held in the way he preferred. He would begin to relax and would even sometimes rest his head on me.

As time went on, we saw that he was forming inappropriate attachments to round objects. Instead of doing the 'work' required to really bond with people, he would take the easier route and fixate on balls, etc. While I do think he has a natural gift for athletics that we want to nurture, we did not want him to always go for the avoidance route in relationships. We wanted to show him that it was worth it to give extra effort and form strong ties with us.

Several things have really made a difference for him. First, he has been at home with us most of the time. For adopted children to bond, they must have ample amounts of time with their family. This seems obvious, but it can be challenging. How to give and give and give love to a child that seems like they are rejecting love? And I do need a break from time to time! Again, I'm drawn back to that video... and I just wonder. Did that Mom have access to the type of therapy we had? Did she trust in God to change hearts and knit a family together in the way that only He can do?

After 2 years of therapy, ourchild is a different little boy. He calls me Mommy, and rarely anyone else :)... Val, I know you're laughing! He loves, loves, loves his family. And his attachment to round objects has become more of an age-appropriate one. While we are certain that challenges remain with Little Boy Blue (he is a strong-willed child :)), we know that challenges remain with all of our children.

All of this to say... if you are an adoptive Mommy, or even a biological Mommy who isn't 'bonding' with your child, begin with prayer and persist in prayer. Persist in bringing every resource to bear on your situation, search for your child's interest area and believe that God will work all things together for good. While that doesn't mean that there is a Cinderella ending from our fleshly perspective, it does mean that every inch of the journey will not be wasted and that ultimately, in all things, God's name will be glorified.

Until another day,

Have You Read...

Bruchko by Bruce Olson? Today, I found myself in bed with flu-like symptoms. Thanks to elderberry syrup, I believe my symptoms have calmed down significantly. Since I felt pretty good, I decided to finish the above-mentioned book.

Wow. Bruce Olson is a missionary with an amazing story of bringing Christ to a violent, indigenous tribe in South America. The thing that really stood out to me was his concerted effort to become part of the tribe, rather than 'Westernize' the natives and turn them into American-type Christians. His story is just moving and beautiful and shows the obvious love of God for these people, right where they are.

My friend, Pam, gave me this book along with many others that she and her kids used in their homeschool. Come to find out, Bruchko is part of the Sonlight curriculum! How exciting that home educated kiddos around the world are reading this! I think it is a must-read on our read-aloud schedule.

I Just Don't Know What to Say About This...

Woman gives adopted son up after 18 months...

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